When the Strong Become Weak

Have you ever felt like queen of the mountain?  Have you ever just known within yourself that no matter what came your way you could handle it?  What happens when that strength leaves?  It can leave for any reason - age, health, economy, finances, or difficult circumstances.  Let me relate a little story or two from a personal perspective.

I used to feel like superwoman.  I used to think I could handle anything.  I was a vet tech.  Blood and guts were no big deal to me.  Rough people were no big deal to me.  Now, blood makes me want to vomit and rough people make me want to hide.  What has happened?

I took my son to the dentist.  He had 6 teeth pulled.  This is when my revelation to my weakness really came to full view.  As he opened his mouth to show me the new holes where teeth once had been, I almost lost it.  (My stomach contents that is).  My son, however, then put his head on my shoulder and began to cry.  At this point I realized I must be the strong one.  What has happened?

I have kidney stones.  I have LOTS of kidney stones.  I have been fighting the buggers for over 3 years now.  I have been fighting one in particular for almost 2 weeks straight.  It's not big enough to mandate surgery as the others have but it has been enough to knock me flat on my behind, incapable of performing most of my daily tasks.  What has happened?

So, the question still remains, What has happened?  I'll tell you.  I have aged.  I have given birth to 6 children.  I worked 2 jobs for 2 years and then I worked 3rd shift for 2 years.  I burned my candle at both ends, leaving a mess of  used up, mushy wax with just enough wick left for a flicker when I chose to work rather than be a mother.  My jobs became my priorities and focus, not my family.  Moving up and earning as much as possible became my focus rather than how I may serve Christ better.   When a candle is burned properly, its life is prolonged and provides much use to the ones in need of its light.  There is an even burning providing a steady glow of light.  When the wick is not trimmed and the candle is allowed to burn however it chooses, the flame is sometimes bright and sometimes dull, barely burning as it attempts to lay in the wax. 

Just as a candle needs proper trimming and care, so do mothers.  We must allow Jesus to trim our wicks so that we may burn efficiently and bright enough to make a difference in this world to the people around us.  For many years, I held rebellion in my heart that kept me from doing that.  I was too worried about bills, cars, clothes, a house, food, makeup, and what other people would think of me.  I have paid dearly for this rebellion.  The strong person I used to be, and will eventually be again, was burned up.  I used my candle at both ends instead of letting my master keep me trimmed in His way.  Now that I have let Him have my all, He has started giving me back my joy, my peace, my strength, and courage to help others in this walk. 

I will never be perfect, nor will you, but we can be the best we were designed to be.  Are you strong or weak today?  Where does that weakness come from?  Are you doing what you were designed to do or are you doing what YOU want to do?  While we may be made strong in weakness, that strength comes often after a  hefty price has been paid.  I have never been happier than I am now, but my joy has come much later in life than necessary due to my own foolish decisions.